Ides of March 2015

March 16th, 2015

I’m starting to think that jury duty and appendectomies have a lot in common. They seem to strike out of the blue, at inconvenient times. I’ve had neither – yet.  And I turned 65 this year. It’s very sexy.  Even as I feel physically strong, I get all kinds of “helpful” advertisements on phone, mail and email. You know, medical alert systems just waiting for me to claim, life line screenings to reveal dangerous plaque buildup in my arteries and prescription assistance for the medications I don’t take now but will in the future. The culture’s message is loud and clear – “Now that you are really really old, you can expect all sorts of horrible things”. Delete Delete Delete.  Spring is arriving slowly in Maine. We can see the top of the birdbath now, so you know winter is shrinking.  I’m scheduled for another colonoscopy on April Fool’s Day, as the prep of the last one landed me in the ER.  And I fly out to Oregon on Easter Sunday, returning on the last day of Passover.  Funny to learn that yesterday, as my schedule book has no holidays listed. Feels auspicious.  The world does seem to be shifting.  Think the poets got it right - Rabia, Hafiz, Rumi, Mira, Sarton, Oliver, Indian oral narratives and so many more.  While we’re at it, let’s sing praises for spiritual guides, friends, family, teachers in their many forms, and everyone and everything that inspires us now.  Expect Miracles.  Like, perhaps my appendix will start hurting at the court house.

June 13, 2014 – Friday the 13th and a Fullmoon

June 16th, 2014

real hunting outfit at LL Beans

This can be called, Ticks and Other Things that go Bump in the Night.  I heard Maine Calling on NPR the other day about ticks and Lyme disease. May never weed again and will probably stay inside more this season. I watch those little chipmunks and even robins with suspicion now. Never wanting to be ruled by fear, I surround myself in Golden White Light, but also bought permethrin from Beans to spray 2 sets of clothing.

I learned on that program, you could have professionals dip your clothes for $10 a piece. Might be a good idea. My newest character, Edite, confides to the audience that Stephanie told her “there are more insects on the planet than any living thing. Why it’s the only thing we know for sure – God loves bugs”.  Does the Source really love ticks?  It’s difficult to imagine.  It is hard too (for me) to refrain from judging – ticks, LePage, GMOs in our foods, radiation in mammograms for dense breasts, mean people who I think are judging others (that’s kind of funny to judge people for judging), to name a few.  I am noticing this more often now. I will admit to doing a horrible thing – actually two horrible things about a week ago.  I was laying on the lounge chair next to our old, wooden picnic table and at eye level started watching hundreds of small ants crawling under the bench part, carrying little white sacs into and out of the cracks and holes.  Then I noticed several ants on each peony bud growing in our flower garden. Without thinking, I took a bottle of OFF and sprayed both areas.  Later, I saw no line of ants with what may have been their eggs and the leaves and buds of the peony were brown and shriveled.  The ants were really not bothering anyone and we had already decided to buy a new table next year.  Do no harm takes on new meaning. But ticks?  There is an abundance of life and lushness outside now and after a long, challenging winter, it feels miraculous. Recently I had a window seat flying home from Oregon and got to look down and see some of the country. It’s so big and full of empty spaces and mountains,  clumps of houses, intersecting roads, water and  lots of squares & circles. Oregon is lush too but very different than Maine.  I found a new hobby while I was there. My brother-in-law had a spiffy sling shot from Amazon and I was better than expected. Ordering one of my own, it is fun to practice hitting metal chairs.  Ticks are too small, I guess.

Lucky Shot Video

September 11th 2013

September 11th, 2013

Ahhh what an auspicous date. It certainly gives me pause. The sweet neighbor across the street said that everyone remembers exactly where they were on that day. It’s hot and humid outside now. A fluke and I am savoring it. Returned from a wonderful trip to Oregon to be with my family and help celebrate my dad’s 94th birthday. Yesterday my friend Julie asked if I had run out of things to say because I stopped writing the blog. Don’t think so, just disliked the pressure (which makes me laugh, because there really isn’t any). Lots of things make me laugh these days, which is a good sign I am feeling well. Had the thought the other day, that in those car commercials where the car tells you if someone is crossing behind or coming up on the side or even makes a phone call if you ask – it would be great if they told me what to wear in the mornings, where to invest, what appointments not to make. Not really, but it made me chuckle.  Our blessed osteopath told me last week that he had to relight my pilot light. That was funny because I returned home to learn that our oven’s pilot light is broken. Ka just told me that the check-engine light in my car is a signal to check mine. Any suggestions?  Another incident happened a few weeks ago at Hannafords – not my favorite place.  A lovely woman who was offering samples of some food, started talking. She asked if I noticed her face improvement now that the spots were gone.  Said I didn’t know what it looked like before.  She thought I should have the laser work done too; it’s not expensive and very effective. Then she gave me the brochure for the place in Brunswick. Why did she give it to me? Are my age spots that noticeable?  Then I had to laugh. There are so many things to remember to do these days, just to keep up.  The dental hygienist warns that I must put baking powder on the toothbrush before the toothpaste and afterwards floss slowly.  M says it’s important to click many times each day for the neck muscles. I do it when putting on moisturizer. Use sunscreen. Yesterday Th offered daily core exercises.  Drinking more water is essential. Take vitamins, oh and the calcium at night (I’ve been gagging on it for some reason). Z says I have to use an astringent after washing my face, before the moisturizer – click, click, click.  Meditate, move, read.  Spend joyful time with friends and family.  Be in nature.  And in solitude.  Open, Invoke and Allow the Light.  And Trust it.

February 2012

February 19th, 2012

Smart Squirrel

Can you believe it’s February 2012?  Me neither.  It’s been a while since I have felt like writing. Not sure what I’ve been up to. There were 5 fun performances in December, a birthday and family tree in January. There was a day when I switched to listen to AM conservative radio, curious to see what was being said. And I was surprised at how much hate and venom were being spewed against Obama. But when I went to change back to NPR on FM, my old car would not comply. I kept hitting the button but hearing Rush. I laughed out loud imagining that I was stuck in conservative radio hell, forever. Finally it connected and I was free. Close call. Everyone can feel the increase Light on the planet now. It seems like more is possible and can happen quickly. We were bringing furniture and the pieces of our daughter’s Ikea desk down to her, but saw we had misplaced all of the screws somewhere. We’d have to buy a new one in NYC. Then she left her apartment for class and there in the lobby was a small, funky desk with a sign – Take Me. That was great and very fast. I saw what looked like a very smart squirrel the other day. He had the top of our small bird-feeder ball off and stuck neatly into a groove of the tree. He was upside down with his head in the ball up to his shoulders. When I raved about the intelligence of the wildlife here in Pownal, John told me he had taken the top off and put it in the tree, because the squirrels can twist and remove it but then they take it back to their nest to hide. That’s still pretty smart. When cleaning the studio I found an old cassette of Whitney Houston and started playing it and singing loudly in my car for the last several weeks. It felt great to let the vocal folds vibrate like that, although I could never come close to matching her change in octaves. I even brought the tape to my groups and we all sang and moved to her wonderful voice. Perhaps it was a coincidence or premonition. Either way, it is sad and a great loss. I see too tremendous suffering now, in Syria and the Honduras prison fire and more. There are super pacs, legislative war against women and people trying to go backwards in time. The trick I guess is to see the world, but do not become it. The instruction keeps coming to go within, where there are choice points for creation, balance, wisdom and joy.

September 2011

September 30th, 2011

Well I didn’t find much funny in August and now September is coming to its close.  Robert and Jackie suggested I write about being a speech therapist. Running communication groups for 30 years and not knowing if they help anyone, made me laugh out loud.  When it was time for college, my parents insisted that I find a career to fall back on. Too confused to ask what I was falling from, I looked through the Ithaca catalog for a major without a math or language requirement. While my friends were taking fascinating courses, I sat in Cleft Palate and Pathology of the Ear. The funniest class was Phonetic Transcription where for the final the professor stood and sputtered things like gishpoxofsachich and we were suppose to write it phonetically. Perhaps that’s made me a better person today. I can hear a lateral lisp and low riding tongue a mile away. My area of interest has been nonverbal and verbal social language or pragmatics.  We do a lot of fun role-playing in the groups. I knock on a pretend bathroom door and others are suppose to let me know someone is inside. We invite, ask for help, tell others we can do it ourselves, and make suggestions for things we’d like to do. My favorite is where I mime falling over and in my halting breaths tell someone to get help.  I now know who not to ask should a real need arise.  We act and identify emotions, use our imaginations and much more  Years ago, when Marian and I carried heavy video equipment, masks and movement into prisons, schools and day programs, we only wanted to have fun and help others with the goals they have set for themselves in this life.  It’s the same today. And  I suppose that is better for me than turning the catalog a few more pages, and becoming a sports manager.

July 2011

July 27th, 2011

I’ll tell you a secret – physicians and even the people working at laboratories do not know the costs of the tests. And the costs change. We were quoted $322 for a thyroid test and learned that it is now $45. Wonder if they tell the insurance companies. I also wonder how many other people pay out-of-pocket for lab work because of high deductibles or no coverage at all. Everyone we spoke with seemed surprised that we were paying and that we wanted to know up front how much. Don’t these people read the newspapers. It took hours in an overly air-conditioned hospital, but we met friendly people and did get to see the live lift-off of Atlantis on TV in the waiting room.  Glad to be done, we ran outdoors.  July is spectacular in Maine – lush beauty, birds, sunsets, sweet night smells and friends from away bless us with priceless gifts. This month there seems to be opportunities to learn new things. I was told that the people of ancient Atlantis did not use money. Later we de-evolved and believed fear. Now we are completely off-balanced and ruled by these pieces of paper with numbers written on them. I learned about bio resonance and people doing wonderful new work with energetically sensitive children. I learned that worry is like praying for what you do not want and showering others with negativity. I learned David Sedaris and Tina Fey are very funny writers (but I already knew that), that Dawn dishwashing liquid removes grease from your kitchen counters and that it’s important to thin your vegetables. I saw that Amy Winehouse is a gifted musician and artist who has chosen to disembody. Our tears dry on their own. And how one man in Norway can hurt so many. I learned that “clear eyes, full heart, can’t lose” on Friday Night Lights is great. And that the weather systems now are building in intensity to allow Mother Earth to rebalance. I can hardly listen to the news any more with our politicians fighting and posturing like cocks. The thought came this morning, that they do not represent me. I am learning that we are much bigger than we think, that the Light is increasing on the inner and outer planes and that what you do for yourself you do for your world. There is much to learn and unlearn now.

June 2011

June 27th, 2011

Blessings on the Solstice and changes in June. Things seem to be really heating up now – for everyone. The Light is revealing more – miracles, fear patterns, imbalances and new possibilities. Can’t say more than that. Been feeling that words fail these past few days. It has felt like a Big month though. As it moves towards its turn into July, I will mention how enjoyable art projects can be. Hey, card holder services just called from Austin, Texas. It’s a scam. I asked Visa; they never call for more information over the phone. Scams and identity theft, and other weird things that go bump in the night. Like Hemorrhoids.  Experiencing that, one time, was enough. A very sweet older proctologist had me meet with his nurse to go over the case history.  She saw “performer” as part of my employment and when I mentioned wanting to write a hemorrhoid monologue (because no one talks about it), she told me a very funny story.  In another city, in a much larger practice, she had invited all of the nurses and secretaries for an overnight party. They played a great game, where 2 volunteers picked out of bowls, the names of a patient and a doctor. Then they could use any props found in the house to act out the interaction and the others would guess. Wait, did she just tell me they imitated the patients? I hadn’t even been on the examination table yet. Not one peep from me. She offered to meet and help write a piece, but I hesitate because I’m thinking she has too much information.  Another pain in the butt is how everything seems to be going up, except salaries. The divide between the rich and the poor is too great to sustain. Tics, tea party republicans and no planned summer vacations. Or is the pain from taking on the emotions of others – what is not mine.  But what about those art projects and laughing with friends & family and synchronistic events.  And the spectacular growth outside with the promise of summer, when the sun finally shows up again.  I choose learning over protecting today. Perhaps my pains in the butt will release.

May 2011

May 18th, 2011

Reading in the New Yorker this month, I came upon the words ant farm and immediately a memory burst forth. As a young girl I begged my parents for a pet – probably a dog or cat. They bought me an ant farm. It’s hard to snuggle up to one of those and I had repeated nightmares thinking they would escape. Funny how memories work. I remember graduating from Ithaca College 39 years ago. This weekend our daughter graduates. I remember making neighbors sit on their couch while I danced and performed in front of them. Not so different from what we do now. I remember moving to Belle Harbor, N.Y. and my first day in 5th grade was Hurricane Donna. Of course my mother had made me go to school that morning, and when the coast guard said they would bring the few of us home, I didn’t know my address. I remember sitting in one of those circles before a financial meeting at our daughter’s school. You had to go around and say your name, your child’s, whose class, etc. I hate those things and start getting warm and nervous right away. Telling myself to breathe or that I am a performer for goodness sake does not help.  It gets closer and I smile but hear nothing. Then it’s my turn and I hear myself say, hello I am Jackie Reifer and my child is ___ and she is in – but instead of saying Mr Chisholm’s class as I intend, I switch in my head to the seventh grade. Then thinking that these people might not know my husband teaches at the school, I say, oh and my husband is Mr Chishom…no, no it’s Mr Saccone, but I like Mr Chisholm. I hate those circles. I remember other Mays but not with as much energy and possibility as we are feeling on Mother Earth now. I remember Mays that had 90 degree temps, but not this one. It is cool and cloudy. But the leaves grow in size and color each day. It is a spectacular progression  I will try like hell to stay inside of this one.

April 2011

April 18th, 2011

This month I’ve been thinking more about rules. When I was pulled over by a stern policeman for making a left turn on a yellow light, I was thankfully given a warning. Initially it was put on the refrigerator to remind me that some rules must be followed. I also began noticing my loose driving which does not always come to a complete stop at stop signs, has me going faster through residential areas and sometimes slower on the highways (mainly because of a new shaking sensation in the steering mechanism). But the point is, some rules need to be met. There are lots of privacy rules, which probably don’t work. At a summer party there was a woman who looked very familiar but I could not place her. When I asked, she said she was not allowed to tell me. Huh? She then said she worked at a drugstore. Ahhh, my pharmacist. She knows I use vagifem and had a bout with hemorrhoids.  I was glad she couldn’t discuss it.  Years ago I was at a speech pathology conference about oral-motor therapies and the presenter was giving us specific exercises with a horn. She said, quite seriously, “the therapist always holds the horn”. Well, my friend and I started laughing in one of those out of control and cannot stop to breathe laughs. I have since placed the horn under a sign on my desk at work to remind me. There were many rules about being a polite, young good-girl growing up. The worse was being reminded in crowded elevators, “stand up straight, or you won’t have a bosom.” I don’t and I don’t. More people now are questioning rules, as part of a bigger awakening on the planet. Empires are falling and many are being inspired to try things in new ways. Personally, I am learning that it’s not necessary to accept rules about dressing. And I can eat dessert first.  I can create a life full of doing what I love. Roles and rules are limitations learned through conditioned consciousness.  I am looking inside for a different source of guidance now. I can find rules for myself and let you find your own. I can choose my rules and choose to change them. But I intend to stop at yellow lights. Maybe.

March 2011

March 20th, 2011

Japan, Libya, Bahrain. Earthquakes, tsunami, nuclear disasters, war. When you start with this, where do you go?  I am grateful for the reminder which came today, that witnessing the suffering of our fellow human beings shatters the heart. ” There is a recognition that their predicament could easily be yours. This recognition can create an opening in your heart, and it is through the heart—your heart—that higher states of consciousness are realized, and so the earthquake in Japan is, in many ways, an earthquake of the collective heart.”

So too March light has changed with clock time and more is entering now. It was a gorgeous perigee full moon last night and early this morning. This month I saw shrinking mounds of snow reveal a highway of vole tunnels, a wonderful illusion of little people in Lee’s class play when the students put clog slippers on their knees and wore long tunics, a compassionate vet and an expensive bra.  I felt Tony come on the wings of a song. And saw us as a funny little family doing a show with K & Z as our techies. I also gratefully reconnected with three wonderful people from my Ithaca days, already almost 40 years ago. Time passes quickly.  Even as we are one, we are each unique.  Our perspectives are our own. I remembered checking an obituary for my dad, and reading, ” Wife of late Joseph____, mother of Sam (Cathy), sister of late Evelyn ____, grandmother of Joshua (Jennifer)…”  and thinking it was wonderful that this family had two transgendered people in it.  Later I was told that the names in the parentheses are the wives.  My perspective sometimes makes me laugh.

I will try to stay in the moment and find ways to live life in joy and happiness.  That’s where I’ll go while being aware of Japan, Libya, Bahrain, and more.